Just sitting here
Thinking
Not able to understand
My own thoughts
My own brain
Which is telling me
Lies about
Myself
My body
Everything
The weight
Of perfection
Dragging me down
Drowning
In this whirlpool
Of emotions
While I’m
Just sitting here
_______
The tears,
They go down my cheeks,
Don’t know where they’re coming from,
They’re just there.
I have no good reason,
Should be okay,
But I’m not,
’Cause why would they be here then?
I’m just not okay,
I feel so alone,
Even though I’m not,
I can’t get rid of this feeling.
_______
I try to live
I’m limited
In this freezing net
And can’t give
Myself an option
To choose
I will lose
Cut myself in fractions
_______
This skin
A prison
Of a Person
I don’t know
So thin
But still
A prison
Of so many thoughts
This skin
An armor
Against the world
But not my own
So thin
But still
A prison
Of so many thoughts
This skin
A gift
I should respect
But I can’t accept
Because even if
This skin is
So This,
It’s a prison
Of so many thoughts
_______
watching Me
an eye is
staring at
Me without
pausing, ’cause
My flaws stand
out in it
makes me feel
bad and like
I can never
be enough
